Bible Texts: Ecc.4:10-11, Ss.4:5, Ss.2:6, 1Cor.7:1-5, Eph.5:25, Jn.3:16, Heb.13:4-5, Gen.2:24-25, Matt.19:4-5, Jn.14:26
Some months ago, I was invited to minister at a church fellowship. One of the areas I was asked to speak about is sexual relationship between the husband and his wife. Although I will not able to write down everything I taught on that day, but I will be sharing with you God’s eternal plan for every husbandman, who desires to be good and godly on sexual relationship with his wife.
God wants you to make love with your wife and not just have sex with her. As the husbandman, your relationship with your wife goes beyond just having sex with her. It involves you giving your spirit, soul and body to emotionally connect to her. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence…..(1Cor.7:3). Your wife is not a sex tool. She is a creature of God, whose body must be honoured and must enjoy intimacy with you.
You must understand that sex is just one of the components of loving making. Unfortunately this is where most husbandmen end up. If you stop at having sex with your wife, you will never be satisfied with her. And this will lead you to look out for other women. I have heard of husbandmen, who when asked why they keep extra-marital affairs, readily say that they cannot be eating one particular meal all the time; that there is need to taste other meals. This is a lie from the devil to keep you in perpetual bondage and ultimately take you to hell (Jn.10:10).
Now, what does it mean to make love to your wife? It means three things. Firstly, it means talking with her, not necessarily on sex but on those aspects of her life that you sincerely appreciate. Don’t tell sweet nonsense, but real things that she can also recognize as true about herself. As the good and godly husbandman, you need to open up the emotional gate of your wife otherwise you may just end up “having sex” but leaving her look like a prostitute. Secondly, it means touching her gently and creatively, by bring her closer to you, massage her, give her a kiss, and put your arms around her waist or neck. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife and were not ashamed (Gen.2:24-25). When you do this, you would be stirring her up for the third step- physical penetration.
Two Bible passages will help you appreciate your wife and her physical attributes and motivate you to enjoy loving making with her. The first is this. God has given you all things to enjoy (1Tim.6:17). And the second is this. Enjoy the wife of thy youth and your covenant partner (Mal.2:14). If all you do is having sex with your wife, then you have not treated her any better than a harlot.
God wants you and your wife to enjoy intimate relationship because it is an honourable experience (Heb.13:4).
- Father, in the Name of Jesus, help me to treat my wife’s body with love and respect
- Father, in the Name of Jesus and by You Spirit, teach me how to relate with my wife intimately.
- Father, in the Name of Jesus, renew my mind to make love to my wife and let her respond to me passionately.
I am intimately passionate about my wife and I make love to her because that is what makes me the good and godly husbandman in Jesus name. Amen.
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Jesus Christ is Lord over all.
Bro. Ebenezer O. Igure